With Christmas just one month away, more and more Christians are not only in the stores for gifts–they’re also shopping for a mate. As the winter season inches towards us and the last of the leaves fall from the trees, an increasing number of single men and women are looking for companionship.
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. [Genesis 2:18 KJV]
In Genesis 2, Adam was responsible for the Garden of Eden. He had named all of the animals and began to notice a pattern. They were all paired–all except him. It didn’t take long for God to create a female companion for Adam, named woman and later Eve.
Companionship is an experience that is wanted by many. There are even those who pray for Jesus Christ to delay His second coming, because they haven’t found their soulmate, gotten married, and had children. The pressures of society and our peers have enabled us to be selfish, lustful, and in hot pursuit of “the one.”
How many of us have decided to take matters into our own hands? How many have even drafted a list of qualities? There’s nothing wrong with the list, but many of us have replaced reality with fantasy. For women, we want a tall, handsome man who is charming, has a car, earns a high salary, and takes care of his family. For men, they want an intelligent woman with a great body, who can cook, and knows how to care for children. He or she may be right in front of us, but because we are not willing to be open-minded and reasonable adults, we remain blind and alone.
Our guide to life, or the bible, we are given examples of what happens to those who have chosen to aggressively pursue their wants and not their needs instead of trusting and waiting on God. Though we may “know” we want this and that, God already saw the outcome of our choices. God gave us free will, he isn’t a dictator. He will do everything in His power to help us avoid pitfalls, but we have to be willing to obey Him.
Let’s take for instance the story of King David and Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 11. David was king of Israel, a nation that was in battle. While his army was away, he remained home. One night, he saw Bathsheba, a married woman whose husband, Uriah was fighting for Israel and King David. Regardless of that, King David slept with Bathsheba and impregnated her. He later tried to cover it up by sending for Uriah and hoping he would sleep with his wife, but he didn’t. Instead, King David had him sent back into the battle and placed in the front lines where it was certain death. Bathsheba mourned the death of her husband, married King David, and later bore his son.
And when the mourning was past, David sent and fetched her to his house, and she became his wife, and bare him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the LORD. [2 Samuel 11:27 KJV] And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die. [2 Samuel 12:13-14 KJV]. And David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the LORD loved him. [2 Samuel 12:24 KJV]
God allowed the child to die because he was conceived through adultery, but God bless David’s second son, Solomon who later succeeded his father as king of Israel. In 1 Kings 11, Solomon followed in his father’s footsteps and had many wives, which displeased God.
But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites: …And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart….And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the LORD God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice…[1 Kings 11:1, 3, 9 KJV].
Not everything that is pleasing to our five senses, especially sight, is good for us. Sometimes it’s just better to avoid temptation and walk away for the sake of our souls and peace of mind. Sadly, too many of us fall victim to our wants and desires. We fail to place God’s wants and desires for our lives before our own. In the end, we’re the ones who reap what we sow.
No shopping list can guarantee the right mate for you. The height or size of one’s bank account cannot accurately reflect true happiness. If God has not revealed to you who he or she is, it’s better to wait. You won’t always have the opportunity to receive store credit, a full refund, or let alone make an exchange.